Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Milking it

There's a certain amount of caveat emptor involved with buying stuff. Take Fiji Water, for example. But there is a reasonable limit. Hot on the heels of a study saying all that added crap in milk is at best useless, there's some signs that added crap in a water solution can be downright harmful.

Whole water, manufactured by Fonterra, contains fibre and milk protein and it says so where it has to. More fool Kristy Oxenham if she was to give her toddler lolly water without reading the ingredients. You'd get as much sympathy from me on your plight by feeding your daughter Coca Cola or Gatorade.

But, but but... if consumers are stupid enough to buy bottled water containing weird shit because it is packaged in opaque bright colours, what marketing ideas were also considered before this one rose to the top of the To Do List? Here's a few guesses:

Pongo Milk - Milk with added suphur, for authentic Rotorua experience.
Beef Flavoured Primo - Not a winner in NZ, but the USA market loves it.
Calci Stick - Condensed milk calcium in solid form. Dismissed when chalk discovered as main competitor.
H2J - bottled water with added gelatine. Aimed at weaning toddlers off eating paste or mud.